It’s all because of him, isn’t it? If he hadn’t taken that one ever so fragile step, you would have never refracted in such a harsh way, and you would still be happy? WRONG!
Playing the blame game never got anyone anywhere. Blaming is one of the most, if not the most, cowardly responses to an event that ever existed.
If everything we do is someone else’s fault, then who should we blame when we do something amazing? Is it still someone else’s fault? Or will we jump all over our own excellence and make sure everyone sees that it is us who did great?
Everything we do is our own choice. This may sound painful at times, but we must remember that no matter how terribly treated we are, or how bad the circumstances have been, we choose to react. We choose what to say, what to do, what to eat, how we listen, if we listen, and for how long we do each of these things. We choose the way we retort upon an unfavorable encounter.
We control almost every aspect of our own lives. The best way for us to feel like the things we say and do matter, is to act as if we control every aspect of our own lives. Because we do.
There is one thing we cannot control, and that’s our emotions or feelings. We cannot control whether something will make us feel happy, sad, mad, angry, jealous, blissful, peaceful, frustrated, etc. The emotions that arise are just part of us. It’s how we feel from a certain outcome or event. But we can control how we react to the emotion! Just because we feel mad does not mean we should retort with angst. Just because we feel happy does not mean we should always jump up and down and shout and laugh. We control what we do. We do not control how we feel. Recognizing emotions and learning how to react to them can be the foreground for strength and personal growth.
If we have dreams, the only one who can discipline us to take action and achieve our goals, is us. Teachers and Coaches can discipline us every so often, hold us accountable, and help us find our true purpose, but they won’t be there every time we decide to take a break. They won’t be there every time we make the decision not to work towards our goal. That’s on us.
The very first, and most important principle to success, is to recognize that everything we do is a choice.
The day we take full responsibility for everything that we do is the same day that we can start to change. It’s the same day that we can have a dream. It’s the same day that we can reach for our goals, and take real steps toward being successful, happy, wealthy, and excellent.
We hold our future in our hands. No one else does.
For You
Let’s say you have a dream of becoming a world star athlete. What does it take to get there? Hard work, persistence, goals, and growth. How can you become the best version of yourself at this sport? Practice. Wake up every morning, and practice. Stay up late every night, and practice. Every chance you get, you need to play that sport, and not just to play it. Not just to say you did it. You have to play with passion, with heat, with excellence. You have to strive to get better, you have to reach for your goals with out-stretched arms as if tearing your muscles from pushing so far over and over again. You have to sweat, you have to play, you have to grind. That’s what every athlete will tell you. But what about when you don’t?
Let’s say you skip practice one morning. You skip practice that one night. What does it sound like in your head? “You know, I didn’t get enough rest last night, so I’ll just sleep in.” “I didn’t eat enough breakfast so I’ll just do it tomorrow.” I hate to be tough on you, but that’s the same thing as the blame game. Be real with yourself. Tell yourself the real reason you didn’t practice. Tell yourself the real reason you didn’t reach for your dream. The real reason is because you chose not to. Take responsibility for choosing not to. What happens will surely surprise you.
If you put the weight of your decisions on your own shoulders, you will see that it’s much harder to say no. It is much harder to not do what you wanted to do. Say, “I won’t practice tonight, because I decided not to.” Sit with that. If you don’t get up in 10 minutes to run outside and change your mind, I’ll be surprised. You must bare the weight of your own decisions to feel as though you can change your habits. It’s as simple as that.
Melation
This success principle of taking responsibility for your own actions has been a huge part of my life. I first read it in Jack Canfield’s book “The Success Principles: How to get from where you are, to where you want to be”. That book truly changed my life, and it’s part of the reason why I created this website. His teachings are powerful and he’s been teaching for double the years than I’ve been alive. I take his work very seriously. I strive to use every principle he teaches.
I love to write. It’s my passion. I put my heart and soul into it. I also have a job, a wife, a kid, and a hectic life. I have to find the time to write. I have to really search for it. Right now, I have to leave in 20 minutes to go to work, but I decided to quickly jump on the computer and start writing because I felt inspired. I have to push myself to work on my skills to get to where I want to be. I have to take full responsibility when I don’t.
It would be much easier for me to blame my daughter, my job, or my lack of time for not writing, but I don’t. I look myself in the mirror every night and tell myself what I did good at, and what I didn’t do great at. It always comes down to whether or not I wrote that day, and whether or not my writing was any good. I look at myself and say either, “Good job, you wrote a great post today, I think your readers will like it.” or “You didn’t write enough today, I want you to write more tomorrow.” I cannot blame anyone but myself. This keeps me going. I write more often now that I bare the full weight of the decision on my shoulders alone.
Do you blame people for the outcomes you get? Do you blame other outside forces for not doing what you love? How has blaming effected your life? And how you will you choose to step away from all that? Comment Below!